Pieces
by conversationswithdeadpeople
Summary: This is my first fanfic, I thought I might do something about how I imagined the babysitters not quite grown up, but somewhere in the middle. A tragedy has brought Dawn back to Stoneybrook, where things have changed but also remained the same. Rating may
1. Home Again

**Chapter One**

**Dawn**

I stared at the ceiling, still feeling strangely detached from the world. Is this even my world? It feels like someone else's. My world has either a one-story California Style home or a comfortable two-story old fashioned farmhouse. Not an un-homey, massive brick mansion in Aberfeldy Crest, Stoneybrook.

My world has a lot of other things, too. Like a best friend named Mary Anne. Like another best friend named Sunny Winslow. Like a group of friends who will be behind you no matter what.

Like a father.

Carol could hardly look at us for weeks after the accident. She was a wreck. Jeff was the worst for her, I think. That face, those eyes staring up at her, a living, breathing reminder of what she'd had and what she'd lost. And the baby. Lucy would cry and cry and Carol would just sit there, doing nothing, acting like she couldn't hear. Maybe she really couldn't. But eventually Lucy stopped crying. She lay in the crib, looking frightened and scared. No matter what Jeff or I did, she'd just lie there gazing. And last week I came home and there was an ambulance at the front door. Mrs Bruan, the housekeeper, sprinted out faster then I'd ever seen her move and told me she'd found Lucy in her crib, not breathing.

I think that was when I really lost it. Mrs Bruan told I sank to the ground and just sat there. Shock, I think. All I know is I didn't register anything except that the baby was dead. I sat for what seemed like hours, until Jeff walked out carrying a little bundle in his arms, moving towards me. I pushed him away. No, I didn't want to see the body, no more bodies for me, not ever, not ever, not ever-

"Dawn, she's okay, she's crying, look!" Jeff screamed. "She's crying!" And I grabbed her and held her, this tiny, eight-month old body crying in my arms. And I came back. I saw everything clearer and I could smell the California car exhaust and I told Jeff we were going home.

So we went home. Packed our bags and flew out three days later. Lucy is going to stay with Carol's sister, Elizabeth, while Carol's going to a rehab place in Palm Springs. She needs some medical attention and we spent most of Dad's life insurance making sure she got it. We do love her, despite how much we despised her at first. And it's not like we needed it. We wouldn't need money in Stoneybrook.

My step-father, Richard, used to be a lawyer, but since he won the lottery a year ago, he's retired(at 46) and become a 'gentleman of leisure'. To be honest, he's awful at it- way to uptight and conservative to relax all day. My mom, on the other hand- she's enjoying spending her days shopping and lounging around and never having to clean or cook.

And my step-sister Mary Anne. I'm not sure exactly if it was the money that changed her or High School. Or maybe something else. But she's different now. Not good different. Not exactly bad either. Just different.

Actually, I've barely spoken to her since I got here. She hadn't met us at the airport, just mom and Richard, which was disappointing because, ever since Sunny dropped out of Vista to go to beauty school, I hadn't had much of a best friend. So I was glad to see her when we got home. _Really _glad. She looked a bit more grown-up...well, a lot more grownup actually. Her hair was in a chin-length, sleek bob with blonde highlights, and she was definatly wearing more make-up I'd ever seen her wear. Plus she was tall. Really tall actually. An inch taller than me, and I'm no midget.

But she was still Mary Anne. She hugged me and whispered, "I'm so sorry about your dad." She'd hugged Jeff, too. Then she'd left. Something about a party at some chick's house whose name I didn't recognize and can't remember.

I can't wait till she gets back. I can't wait to hug her again, and talk about all my old friends and all her new ones. Talk about stupid stuff like the time in eigth-grade we had a baby sitting club with those same old friends, and the time I'd visited in ninth grade and Claudia Kishi had let me die her hair pink, and the time when her cat got stolen by her then-boyfriend's little sister.

Maybe talk about my dad. How much I miss him. I haven't talked about him with anyone, not even Jeff, who's watching a movie with mom at this very moment. He's such a good kid. It's his twelth birthday in a week's time. Maybe Mary Anne can help me think of a present for him. When she gets back.

Until then, I stare at the ceiling.


	2. Conversations

**_A/N: _Okay, so I forgot to put a disclaimer on the last one, so to clear anything up: I don't own the characters or storylines (except the ones I made up). Also, an apology and confession-I didn't read all the BSC books, so some stuff I've just filled in myself, like characters name's I don't know. I also didn't know Dawn actually had a half-sister, I just made that up. Not to mention the fact I don't even live in America so if I get some details wrong, I'm sorry. Anyway, thanks for reading!**

**Chapter Two**

_**Mary Anne**_

Okay, I love my sister. But she is _pissing me off. _I don't remember her being so holier-than-thou. Maybe because the last time I saw her, I was twice as bad, and Dawn seemed like a free spirit compared to me. I really was a square back then. _Don't do that. It's wrong. _Kristy still likes to tease me about it sometimes- even though she knows how humiliating it is for me.

Usually once I start talking about 'Kristy's Krushers' she shuts up.

Anyway, like the _second _I got home Dawn pounced on me. And I'm talking two in the morning, half-wasted and ready to pass out. All I want is my nice comfy bed and what I get is "God, it's late Mary Anne. What on earth have you been doing?"

Having fun, dickhead.

I guess I can cut my sis some slack. Her dad _did _just die. Saturday Night I'll take her out. Shannon will know where there's going to be a party. Shannon knows _so _many cool people it's unbelievable. I can't believe we weren't even good friends till the end of ninth grade. She always seemed too involved in a hundred and one clubs and her whole private school life. Of course, now that Kristy and I go to Stoneybrook Day I can understand what she likes about private school life. It's awesome. And plus, the benefit of Shannon doing every extra-curricular school offers, she's ending up knowing about six hundred people. Anyone who's anyone, anyone who's not, and then some.

Once I got Dawn off my back (she retreated pretty quick once I threatened to vomit), I retreated to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed. Sleep. Got to sleep. I'll deal with Dawn tomorrow.

Lucky me. Tomorrow arrived awfully quickly. It was 11 o'clock when I first opened my eyes. My head screamed. God, what was happening? I hadn't slept it off. Shit. Now I'd have to deal with a hangover all Thursday.

"Morning Mary Anne." Dad greeted me cheerfully as I shuffled into the kitchen. God, why did we buy so many appliances? Every single one of them seemed to be gleaming at me at once. "Your up early."

"I wish I was dead." I groaned in reply.

Dad frowns at me. He's still too lawyer-ish and uptight to reprimand me for anything. And he never asks me about coming home so late, or so trashed, or the way I look when I got out. He never mentions anything about Kristy even though Sharon, the neighboorhood gossip, has probably heard a million stories. He never said anything about the party I had at the beginning of summer, even though some of the guys were walking around without pants and every one there was completely drunk.

Is he afraid? Of me? Of the truth?

Do I even care?

I can figure that out later. For now, I take out a packet of potato chips and shuffle into the living room, where Dawn is curled up watching some un-funny sitcom.

"Morning." She said carefully. Oops. Maybe I really had been a bitch to her. She's never really been this quiet around me.

I held the chips out as a peace offering. "Breakfast?"

"I already had a smoothie." Dawn replied. She must have seen the look on my face because she took some anyway. "Thanks."

"Oh!" I remembered. "Sorry. I forgot you don't eat junk food."

"Don't worry, I'm normal again." Dawn smiled. "Ducky paid me $20 to eat a cheeseburger a year ago and I haven't looked back."

"How is Ducky?"

"Good. You know, same."

"Sunny?"

"Uhhh...good. You know, I haven't really seen her since Dad's funeral. I didn't even talk to her then, either. But, I guess she must be fine."

"Cool. Your other friends?"

"Jill's good. She cried when I left. I'm gonna miss her. Maggie's...Maggie." Dawn said, a shadow crossing her face. "Anyway, how's everyone here? Claudia?"

I laughed. "Claudia? Oh, you mean Veronica Mars?"

Dawn's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that, Mary Anne?"

"Oh, nothing." I said breezily. "Just that she's been- what's the word-oh yeah, a total _freak_ since the end of sophomore year. You know, when me and Kristy said we were transferring- Abby already had, of course- she threw a total tanty about us abondoning her or something. Then she got with this guy in the year above us and got into all this weird stuff- like, following people and busting druggers, for, like, kicks I guess. And some kids told me she and this guy had told everyone there was a conspiracy between the school and the government. Anyway, this guy's dad is a private investigator- I mean, please? _So _wannabe." I rolled my eyes and popped another chip in my mouth.

"What about Stacey?" Dawn was staring at me, wide-eyed. "Aren't her and Claud friends anymore?"

"No!" I exclaimed. God, did she have a lot to catch up on. "Stacey's a cheerleader at SHS now."

Dawn nodded. "I always thought she'd get really popular."

"No, it's not like that." I replied, shaking my head. "I mean, she's kind of popular I guess...but she's like, a cheering nut. She's super athletic, and she's like, tiny now...I swear she stopped growing in eigth grade. Last time I saw her was at a football match between Stoneybrook Day and SHS. She nearly punched our cheer caption when they did their little cheer thingy."

"Are _you _on the cheerleading sqaud?" Dawn asked, looking surprised. I don't blame her- I'm incredibly unathletic and I used to be really crowd-shy.

"Nah. Kristy and Abby and Shannon are." I told her. "But I would never join. To much jumping and yelling. Bad for the soul."

"But you like Stoneybrook Day?"

"I _love _it." I said honestly. "It's so much cooler than SHS."

Dawn smiled. She's coming with me to school when it starts up again in a week's time. I can feel it.


	3. Makeup for Gatecrashers

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, especially from oneoneohohone- your **Before We Grow Up **fic is the best one I've ever read and what inspired me to write this one. Sorry if the story seems a bit confusing…I don't remember what school Shannon went to, so I just guessed. Sorry that it takes so long to update...My attention span borders on non-existent.**

**I still don't own anything.**

**_Abby_**

"I hate you, but I loove you! I can't stop thiiiiiiiiinkin of yooooou. It's truue. I'm stuuuuuck on you!"

I sounded gooood.

I'd never discovered I could sing until my first week at Stoneybrook High- also dubbed one of the Best Weeks Of My Life. That first day when I'd walked in with my newly-straightened hair, Shannon's expertly-applied make-up and my soccor cleats left at home, felt like my first real day on Earth. Hanging with Shannon automatically secured me a place in the sophomore popular crowd, which was different from Stoneybrook High, where I was one of the girls who counted sixth-graders as her best friends. Instead of being laughed at for my bad jokes, the Stoneybrook Dayers laughed _with _me for my newly-refined witty quips. My second day, I'd been asked out by two different guys. Back at SHS I hadn't been asked asked out by two guys in a whole year. On my third day, I'd gone to theatre group with one of Shannon's friends, a quiet, pretty girl called Megan. In the first half-hour I'd secured not only a great friendship with Megan, but a place in every school production for the rest of my high school years.

I'd combined the great singing voice my dad had left me with my natural talent for acting and my incredible stage presence to produce-

Abby! The star!

And I _would _be a star. I was sure of it. With my talent, how could I not be?

The only thing I needed now was the looks to match.

Which is why I was standing in front of the mirror, trying on the new make-up I'd recently bought with money from my new job at The Rosebud Cafe. I was getting sick of heading of too school every day looking good. I wanted to look _perfect_.

I tried on some bronzer the chick in the store had recommended. It cost nearly half my pay, but it looked great on the model in the catalouge. Besides, Anna's best friend, my old friend, Janice, had always told me I was too pasty.

I swept in on cautiously at first. My face tanned a bit. I swept on a little more. It darkened some more. I did the other cheek and examined my reflection very carefully.

"Abby! Kristy's here!" Anna called. I heard thumping on the stairs and grinned. Kristy has changed a lot since middle school, but some things will always stay the same.

"Hey, beyotch!" She greeted me cheerfully, flinging herself onto my double bed and grabbing the remote to my stereo. "Watcha doin?"

"Experimenting." I replied, as she started flicking through the radio stations, finally settling on one that broadcasted from New York City and played hard-core hip hop.

"That looks great!" She exclaimed, looking at my cheeks. "Bronzer? I have this MAC stuff-"

"I don't think bronzer really suits me." I cut her off.

"Are you kidding? It goes so good with your skin. You look gorgeous, Ab."

I frowned at the mirror. "No. It's too orangey. It looks weird with my eyes."

It did, too. My eyes are dark green with flecks of hazel. Not the easiest to work with.

Kristy laughed. "Abby, thats what you said about pink eyeshadow. About navy blue mascara. About blush. About blonde highlights. About that shirt the other day in General Pants. Everything looks fine! Relaaaaaax."

I grabbed a tissue and swiped the bronzer off. Then, in a flash of frustration, I knocked the bronzer compact in the bin.

"Hey!" Kristy protested. "If you don't want it, I'll have it! Was that Dior?"

I nodded carelessly as she snatched it up out of the wastebasket. Then I glanced at the rest of the pile. I'd lost my desire to try it on.

"Hey, let's drive down to the Rosebud." Kristy suggested. "We can get an early dinner. Then, what about the party at Janice's house?"

This caught my interest. "Janice? Hates-Shannon Janice?"

"Yesssss." Kristy grinned slyly. "Wanna gatecrash?"

"Mmmmm-yeah ok." I decided. "I can always say Anna told me about it."

Anna is best friends with Janice Cleaveman, Shannon's mortal enemy. I know its kind of childish to actually have worst enemies when your nearly in eleventh grade, but Shannon has many excellent reasons to hate Janice- starting with Janice sleeping with Shannon's then-boyfriend at Shannon's Sweet Sixteen party. Until _that _little incident, Shannon and Janice had been best friends. Of course, Shannon had many other reasons to hate Janice- like the fact she was a backstabbing, skanky bitch- but the Sweet Sixteen incident was the biggest.

Kristy hit my closet with a force, flicking through outfits with that vengence she used to have on the softball field.

"Can I borrow something to wear?" She yelled from its depths.

"Yeah. Help me pick something!" I called.

Thirty minutes later, after cell phoning Shannon and Mary Anne, we were reading to go. Kristy was wearing probably the sluttiest thing in my wardrobe- a red strapless top that was held together at the sides with leather string and super-tiny black shorts. She'd added some really tacky, red novelty stilletos I only had because I wore them in last year's school play. She'd also dressed me, in a silk black jumpsuit and my favourite gold heels. My bar-mitzvah diamond earrings were in my ears.

The thing was, the jumpsuit felt a little tight. Even if I had bought it at the beginning of summer, I shouldn't have gotten bigger in just three months.

"Kristy, my legs look fat. I'm changing." I told her.

"_No _you are not." Kristy replied. "We don't have time. And you look hot, allright? Let's go!"

We dodged Anna downstairs, who wasn't planning to leave for another hour, and headed to Kristy's turquoise sportscar. Shannon ran across the road, in a short yellow dress and silver braided flip-flops. She was the same height as both of us, even though me and Kristy were wearing heels.

Shannon is lucky. She's _so _beautiful. Very Mischa Barton. Tall, flat stomach, blonde, long hair, light blue eyes with dark lashes. She has perfect skin and is super thin. After having braces for a year her teeth are straight, even and brilliantly white. I'd had braces too, but for two years and hers still looked better.

"Lookin hot, slut!" Kristy greeted her.

Shannon smiled, showing off those perfect teeth. "Let's get Mary Anne and get to the Rosebud, I'm starving."

We climbed in, me sqaushed in the back seat as Kristy blasted the radio. We burned rubber for about 10 seconds before we screeched to a halt outside the Spier-Schafer's place.

Mary Anne came running out. Actually running. I don't remember the last time I actually saw her run. She doesn't do gym class or anything at all athletic, actually.

"Dawn's back!" Mary Anne said breathlessly.

"No way!" Kristy yelled. "DAAAAAAWWWWN!"

"I think she hears you!" Shannon protested. Sure enough, Dawn was coming out of the front door.

"Get in the car, girl!" Kristy commanded.

"Hey, Dawn." I greeted her. We weren't great friends. In fact, we'd barely met. But from what I've heard, Dawn's pretty cool.

"Hey, Abby." She smiled. She was quite pretty. I couldn't help but be jealous of her gorgeous tan and hair. She looked like she'd just stepped off _The OC. _

"Where are we going?" Dawn asked as she hopped into the back seat next to Mary Anne.

"Paaartttty!" Kristy replied. Shannon laughed as Kristy screeched out of the driveway and then stopped.

"I can't believe it. The Baby Sitters Club!" Kristy said when she turned to look at us.

We burst out laughing. God, the Baby Sitters Club was lame. But we'd had fun. Who'd have thought it'd turn out like this?

"This is gonna be a _hell _of a night." Shannon said, just before Kristy's wheels screamed into action.


	4. Flashback

**A/N: Okay, this chapter is going to include flashbacks...I don't know why but they seem to fit Shannon, because I think she's a character that we don't know alot about...she needs some explaining. Also I couldn't remember her sister's ages, so I edited them myself. Thanks for all your great reveiws, their helping me heaps...keep it up!**

**I still don't own anything.**

_Shannon_

Surely the death of me will be because of Kristy Thomas's atrocious driving.

Okay, I was a little on edge tonight. Gatecrashing Janice's party just didn't seem like a good idea for me. I'm not like Kristy. I don't seek out confrontation. I don't thrive on it.

Maybe if I did it could be easier.

At least I'm getting out of the house. Anything is easier than being there right now. Tiffany's just getting worse, I know she is. I mean, I guess right now my family is closer than ever, but I wish we didn't have to reunite because of something so awful. I wish it wasn't because my little sister's mental state is deteriorating...and I'm to blame.

_"I Love you Shannon." The words spun around in my head as I steered my mom's black SUV into our street. Why? Why did he love me? Why did he choose today of all days to tell me? _

_Micheal was not my friend. He was didn't know who I was at all. _

_I could see his face. He was strikingly handsome, I could admit that at least._

_His tall figure swam around in my mind-and then-it couldn't be. Was he walking out of my house? It sure looked like him. What the fuck was he doing here? Couldn't he leave me alone?_

_Wait. It wasn't Micheal. It was Tiffany's boyfriend, Dane. I moved my foot to the brake so he could move across the road safely._

It wasn't the brake I pressed. It was the accelerator.

Tiffany gets worse every day. She gets into fights at school. She's depressed. Anorexic. She's only one year younger than me and she's gone through so much more than I think I will ever have too. I hope so, anyway.

"So, Rosebud?" Kristy says, breaking into my thoughts. "I'm staaarving for one of those grilled chicken salads."

"Sure." I tell her, smiling. Even as I catch sight of myself in the car mirror, I know if Kristy looked any closer she'd catch me out. I'm not an actress like Abby is. I can only lie so much.

We pull up at the Rosebud Cafe about twenty minutes later. The carpark is packed with cars, not too many that I recognise(most of the Stoneybrook Dayers got to Bel Air's on George Street, in the opposite direction). Kristy pulls up next to a rust bucket and we pile out.

Once were inside, after scanning quickly for anyone we know(zero results) we grab a table and wait for a waiter.

"You know, Abby, they could _really _get some better service in here." Mary Anne says, as she picks up a menu and scans it.

"Mmmmm." Abby murmurs. She's also scanning the menu, but she doesn't look like anything on it really interests her.

"Didn't Logan used to work here?" Dawn asks her sister. Me and Kristy exchange glances.

"Who cares?" Mary Anne growls.

"Soooo." I think now is the best time to divert the attention. "What kind of bash is Janice having tonight?"

"End of Summer." Kristy says wisely. I swear, that girl just knows everything. "But it's really just an excuse for her to hook up with anyone with a dick and legs. And not neccessarily in that order, either."

Dawn looks shocked, while Abby and Mary Anne laugh. I'm scowling. I can tell, just by how my face feels.

_I stumbled into the guest room. I was trashed. A rare occurence. While Kristy gets drunk just for the hell of it, and Mary Anne does whatever anyone tells her, I almost never drink. It makes you smell bad and it's so unhealthy for your skin. But hey, it was my sixteenth birthday party! I was entitled to a little fun wasn't I?_

_"Shannon!" _

_The shocked cry pulled me out of my drunken state of mind and sent my down to earth with a painful crash-but it wasn't half as shocking as what I saw. On top of our guest bed lay my naked boyfriend._

_With my naked best friend on top of him._

_David, who'd cried out, pushed Janice off him. "Shannon, please-"_

_But I was already gone._

"Cheer up, Shan." Kristy obviously caught sight of my face. "There's no way Janice is hotter than you. You could steal every guy who's ever been interested in her and she knows it."

I stay silent as the others order their meals. Abby and I both have nothing.

This party was not a good idea.

**A/N: Ok I know it's short...I'll do more later. Bye!**


	5. Old Friends

**A/N: My God, I am so sorry! I know I haven't updated in...ever...but I promise I'm going to try and get more chapters down. I guess I just hit a road block. Also me and my best friend are writing an actual book and we've just had summer holidays over here so I'm pretty busy. I'm just hoping I haven't lost all my readers. But it's ok, I would have given up on me too. Please let me know what you think!**

**Disclaimer: You guys know the drill. Nothing's mine.**

**DAWN **

I blinked. Once, twice. Where was I? Oh! In Stoneybrook. With my mother. In her new house. With Mary Anne.

That party she took me to last night was so awful. Well, for the first couple of minutes anyway. The second we pulled up and got inside, Kristy spied a keg, threw her keys at me, yelled "designated driver!" and was gone in a flash. Abby and Shannon said they had to go to the bathroom and disappeared. Mary Anne looked around and said, "Look how many _Stoneybrook High _people are here."

She said it like they had a disease or something. I looked around and everyone looked the same to me. I couldn't distinguish one group from the other. I turned to point this out to Mary Anne, but she was gone.

"That's awesome." I whispered to myself. It's not like I hadn't been to parties before. I mean, Sunny was a crazy party animal back in California, and Maggie always took us to these awesome Hollywood parties up in LA that no one else at school got invited to. One time we saw Lindsay Lohan making out with another girl.

No lie.

But I was at a party where I knew _no one _and it totally sucked.

Kill time, kill time. I'd go to the bathroom. Maybe I'd find Shannon and Abby. So I found it, and there was a line of like seven people, not one of them Abby or Shannon. So I turned around and went upstairs and found one there. I swung open the door to see…a boy making out with a girl with long, silky black hair.

"Sorry!" I said guiltily. They broke apart, the girl turned to face me, and then she screamed.

"Dawn?"

"_Claudia?"_

Claud ran and threw her arms around me. The last time I'd seen her, back in ninth grade, her hair had been short and cute and her style had been a kind of cross between emo-boho. Now she was wearing a black halter neck top with a hot-pink short miniskirt and high heels, with awesome 80's glitter makeup.

"Omi_god_, what are you doing here?" Claudia gasped. "Look how great you look! Where's Mary Anne? You are _so tan_! I thought-"

"I'm back." I said excitedly. "Back, for good."

Claudia's mouth dropped. "No!"

"Yes."

"That is so awesome!"

"Hey, I'm Brody." Claudia's guy reached out and shook my hand. He was very blonde and very cute. "Do you want me to leave you guys alone for some girl time?"

"Thanks!" Claud said. She dropped down onto the bathroom floor and I followed suit. "So…talk to me! Where's your sister?"

"That's what I'd like to know. Mary Anne is so…different now." I said earnestly. Me and Claudia had never been that close, but when I came back for spring break sophomore year we hung out a lot. And something about her just makes me want to open up to her, I guess. "I mean, do you know anything about her?"

"Not really." Claudia said, looking at the bathroom floor. "I heard she can be kind of- I don't know-"

"Claud, tell me."

"Vicious?" Claudia replied. She looked guilty, like she'd said something horrible.

"Well, she did call you Veronica Mars. And she threatened to vomit all over me." I remembered.

"Ew…Veronica Mars?"

"Is that guys dad, like a private investigator?"

"Stoneybrook's finest. So?" Claudia asked.

"And you…work with him?" I guessed.

Claudia snorted. "No. I mean, I helped him with a case like two years ago once. That's it."

I sighed. "Mary Anne is such a gossip."

"What else did she say?" Claudia said eagerly. I smiled and shrugged.

"Something about Stacey. You guys aren't really friends anymore, are you?"

"Me and Stacey?" Claudia replied, surprised. "We're friends. I mean, we hang out in different groups but we don't like, hate each other or anything."

I nodded. "I've missed so much. And I don't trust anything Mary Anne says. And I'm enrolled at Stoneybrook Day but I really don't want to go." I confessed.

"Oh, Dawn. Come to SHS with me." Claudia said sympathetically.

Not a bad idea.


	6. How can this be failure?

**A/N: Very very very very sorry for the lack of updates. In fact, I truly doubt that anyone reads this anymore. The painful truth is, I've had writers block. For a long, long time, and not just for this story. I'm still in high school, but I want to be a writer and enduring nearly a year of total **_**non­**_**-inspiration to write **_**anything**_** has been a tough reality-check. But I started writing again after New Year so I'm hoping to recover my love of it this year. At least, I hope I will since this is my senior year and if I don't, I'm well and truly screwed coz I won't have a clue what to do with my life!**

**Anyway, sorry about the pitiful excuses, I just feel bad for leaving this story dormant for so long. I have a pretty bad feeling all my regular readers have forgotten about me, but if just one person will read this and enjoy it, my work is done.**

**Thanks for reading and please enjoy.**

**Story Note: this fast-forwards about two months. Although the story doesn't mention it, the girls are in junior year. The reason Dawn isn't mentioned at the lunch table is because she transferred again to Stoneybrook High. I wish I had introduced that more ceremoniously, but the reasons will be explained in further chapters.**

* * *

_Kristy_

November twenty-first was the most humiliating moment of my life.

November twenty-fourth I thought I had hit rock bottom.

November twenty-fifth.

That's the day I realized my life sucked.

I don't mean like the day you forget to Tivo "Love, Actually" for the twentieth time sucked, but truly, honestly, sucked so much you wondered what the point of your life even was, especially if someone else who you _hated_ had a life so perfect that every time you thought about it you wanted to cry until you were sick.

November twenty-first was the day I was supposed to be selected to captain the Stamford county cheerleading team, compiled of the twenty finest cheerleaders in the whole area, hand-picked by the Connecticut State University's cheer captains. Every four years are the Connecticut Games- every county in Connecticut compiles football teams, basketball teams, track squads- you get the drift- and send them off to compete for prestige and glory. And who do all these teams need? A squad of talented cheerleaders, the best in the county, to cheer them on. I was one of three people from Stoneybrook selected-_duh_- and I was a shoo-in for Captain. Everyone in my school was already celebrating. Our principal, Ms. Dayes (yes, funny, Stoneybrook Day, Ms. Dayes, we get it all the time) had already planned a fancy coronation type thing on assembly. I'd told _everyone_ I was in the running, and everyone expected me to win.

After our out-of-town practice in Stamford on November twenty-first, I came home to an empty house. Karen and Andrew were at their mom's place, David Michael at a friend's and Mom, Watson and Emily Michelle off who-the-hell-cared where. I walked into the kitchen and put down my gym bag. Then I opened my mouth and screamed.

"They gave it to _STACEY – MCGILL_?" I yelled incredously. "_WHAT THE FUCK?!"_

I know it sounds stupid. Getting upset over _cheerleading_. But ever since attending Stoneybrook Day Academy, I have never been anything but a perfect student and an enthusiastic cheerleader. I had saved their sorry ass time and time and time and time again. And the Stamford County officials _knew_ that. I was the best goddamn cheerleader on that team. No one else cheered harder, worked more, or motivated the players more. Every game or practice or fundraiser or _anything_ I screamed my little lungs out and jumped around until both my legs felt broken. And they repay me how?

With shit. Fucking. All.

Life only got worse. Stacey McGill was a fucking disease- I couldn't escape her. November twenty-fourth, the State listings of academic achievement came out, the results from last year. Of all my friends, I am the smartest. Shannon works really hard for her grades and always does well, but I am the most naturally bright, and everyone knows that. My family assumed I would rate high on the listings, because I had the year before.

Wrong. Not only was I not in the top ten for anything, I didn't even _appear_ on any of the fucking lists. And who was number TWO for math in the whole state?

Stacey McGill.

I hate her.

November Twenty-fifth, I woke up feeling sick, but I couldn't remember why. It annoyed me all day. All through first-period English, I felt so unexplainably downcast. I couldn't even pinpoint what the feeling was. Until lunch.

You see, when I sat down at my table, with Shannon, Abby and Mary Anne, my childhood best friend was wearing a smirk on her face. That was weird, although in the last year Mary Anne has become a smirky person.

"Do you know what date it is today, Kristy?" Mary Anne asked.

"Uh-"

"November twenty-fifth." She answered before I had a chance. "Do you know whose birthday it is?"

"No." I replied.

"Pete's."

At first I just looking at her, totally confused, before my mind registered that she was talking about Pete Black, who we used to go to school with. Pete Black had always been kind of- _gross, _but in tenth grade he kinda matured and got almost hot. He had been dating Stacey McGill since ninth grade.

Today was Pete's seventeenth birthday; the day everyone knew Stacey McGill had planned to have sex with him for the first time.

Now I knew why I was upset. This morning I had woken up a virgin, and Stacey McGill hadn't.

It took a few days for me to realize the unexplainable feeling was failure. Failure because I was a seventeen-year-old virgin. Because I am supposed to be the prettiest, smartest, most outgoing and popular girl in our entire town. Everyone expects me to have had sex already. Everyone thinks that because I've had a heap of boyfriends means that I'm totally experienced. Everyone else I know has already _done_ it. But I haven't had sex. And if I was going to be brutally truthful with myself-I hadn't even come close.

In eighth grade, Stacey was my biggest rival. Eighth grade was when I started to date a lot of boys, really excel in school; I became really popular at SHS. So did Stacey. We stopped getting along, to say the least- I just stopped talking to her one day. For no real reason, just that we were beginning to have a destructive effect on each other's lives.

I left Stoneybrook High School in tenth grade to escape her. I thought it was going to be a final 'fuck-you' message- _I've had enough of your shit, I'm leaving and everyone knows its because of you_.

I'd thought that I had well and truly conquered Stacey.

But it was a year later. We were seventeen. I wasn't captain, and had none of the accompany admiration and glory. My grades were down the shithole. My prospects of getting into Brown were looking painfully thin. I was a virgin. Everything I had ever wanted was getting further and further away.

_Who really came out on top?_


End file.
